Konoha and Sand Shinobi
by Fate no Ito
Summary: The Rookie 9, Sand Sibs and Neji's team are locked up in a mansion and they have to stay there for around a week! Unknown to them, they're being watched by...ShikaTem maybe, NejiTen, and more...
1. Default Chapter

AOU: yeah! Third Naruto fanfic! I'm on fire!

Sasuke: (performs hand seals) that can be arranged...

AOU:no...bad Sasuke! Bad! I WAS your number fangirl! But now I think I'm Neji's!

Sasuke: in your face, Hyuuga

Neji: shut up, Uchiha

Shika: che, how troublesome. Alchemist of...(stares) Uchiha!

Aou: continue...

Shika: Alchemist of uchiha doesn't own Naruto or anything else in this fic.

AOU: yeah! So, stay away, lawyers!

Lawyers: aw...

Chapter 1: Good luck or Bad luck?

Kakashi's team, Asuma's team, Kurenai's team, the Sand sibs and Gai's team were all sitting, bored, in the Konoha Forest. Their senseis were out on a mission and wouldn't be back in a while. "I'm bored," Naruto said, stating the obvious.  
"Isn't that obvious?" snarled Kankurou (AOU: whoo! he didn't say 'jyan'!)  
"What do you want to do?" Shikamaru asked boredly.  
Ino took out a deck of cards and held it in the air. "Who wants to play strip poker? Or that game Sakura made up, the one where if you lose, you have to kiss someone of your choice!"  
"Neji's team is 14 and we're 13.Um, not surehowold the Sand Sibs are...but, still!We're too young to be playing strip poker and who would want to play something Sasuke-fangirls made up?" Kiba growled, turning to his puppy. "Right Akamaru?" "ARF!"  
Sakura and Ino looked at each other, "um...sasuke-fangirls?" They stopped staring at everyone and settled in for staring, lovesick, at Sasuke, who, not lovesick, did not even acknowledge them with a look.  
"I w-w-wonder where K-Kakashi-sensei, Asuma-sensei and K-Kurenai-sensei are?" Hinata stuttered, "And G-Gai-sensei too!"  
**Where the Jounins are  
**The four Jounin teachers were hanging out at a bar, discussing their Genins and Chuunin. "I dib speaking for the Sand sibs!" Kakashi raised his hand.  
Gai's eyes went on fire. _Damn it, Kakashi! Taking such a cool and hip position in a cool and hip style! No wonder you're my eternal rival!  
_Kurenai nodded and continued their brief discussion, which had started when Kakashi said, 'I dib speaking for the Sand sibs!'. The red-eyed Jounin took a swig of whiskey and observed, "The rookie 9 getes along okay, I guess. But in a mission, the ninjas must learn to work together quickly and silently, without asking each other who's in the cockpit of the team."  
Jiraiya, who was hanging out with them, gave a giggle at the word, 'cockpit' and Kurenai slapped him across the cheek.  
Kakashi and Asuma were about to speak when the door slammed open and the Godaime Hokage, a.k.a. Tsunade, walked into the room. She sat in an empty spot between Jiraiya and Kurenai and ordered to the bartender. "One bottle of sakura sake!" After the bartender gave her the bottle, she opened it and downed a quarter of the bottle in one go. Then, turning to the others, she said, "I have an idea that envolves the Sand Sibs, Gai's Team and the Rookie 9!"  
"Really? We were just talking about how they should learn to work as a team!"  
"Just what I was thinking," Tsunade gave a loud, demented, evil laugh that sent shudders down the backs of people that weren't too familiar with her. Kakashi, Jiraiya, Kurenai, Gai and Asuma were totally used to this, as Tsunade did this everyday, and everytime they heard it, they felt sorry for the Godaime's aide, Shizune.  
"Anyway," Tsunade stopped laughing abruptly and Kurenai wondered whether or not it was a fake laugh."sorry for losing my head there. Raidou and Genma have reported that there's a haunted mansion outside our village gates. The mansion is being inspected and put on TV for the whole world on a show called, 'Let's inspect old houses!'. I booted off that show and added a new one, 'Konoha to Suna Shinobi' (Konoha and Sand Shinobi). There's only one episode and it'll take up a good portion of the week. Don't worry, I gave everybody in the village a special potion that will allow them to stay awake forever!" Tsunade gave another demented, evil, loud laugh that made Kakashi want to open his Icha Icha Paradise book, cover his ears and start reading.  
"Actually," Tsunade stopped laughing. "It'll just keep them awake for a week."  
Kurenai sweatdropped. "When do we tell them?" Tsunade smirked. "Right now. Take them and meet me at the village gates. Tsunade, signing off." She disappeared in a puff of smoke, then re-appeared to grab her sake. She smiled, embarassed, before taking a swig of sake and disappearing.  
**At the Genins and Chuunin  
**"ACK!" Kiba screeched, leaping backwards. A puff of smoke appeared a whisker from where he was before and their senseis stepped out.  
"K-K-Kurenai-sensei?"  
"KAKASHI-SENSEI!"  
"Gai-sensei! I missed you so much!"  
"Oh crap, it's Asuma."  
"Hey, where's Baki-sensei?"  
"Aha! Ero-sennin!"  
"Stop calling me that!" shreiked Jiraiya. After a while, he regained his composure and told the Genins and Chuunin about 'Konoha to Suna Shinobi'.Everybody was totally shocked.  
"WHAT!" Naruto  
"..." Sasuke  
"Th-That's horrible!" Sakura  
"JYANARROOOOO!" Inner Sakura  
"Akamaru, don't worry, I'll protect you!" Kiba  
"..." Shino. Translation: WHAT THE HELL?  
"Wh-Wh-What the h-h-hell!" Hinata  
"Ah, how troublesome." Shikamaru  
"At least it's a mansion...Ino, receiving glares from her friends.  
"Is there food?" Chouji  
"..." Neji  
"..." Tenten  
"WHOOPEE!" Lee  
"..." Gaara  
"Nani jyan..." Kankurou  
"That is the worst news I've ever heard, besides the one when Gaara destroyed half our apartment." Temari  
"Uh...yeah, this won't be easy." Jiraiya murmured. He hadn't told them it would be on TV. He just told them to stay in there for a while until they called them back out again, which would be hopefully be within a week's time.  
"We'll have to knock them out." Kurenai whispered. "It might not be easy knocking out Sasuke and Neji." Kakashi observed  
"I have a plan." Asuma jumped forwards and knocked everyone except Sasuke and Neji, out.  
Sasuke grinned happily and Neji gave a 'hmph' of admiration.  
"Good!" Kakashi gave a small smile. "Now, follow us."  
"Whatever." The two genins followed Kurenai as she lead the way to Konoha gates.  
**At the mansion  
**"Nice mansion." Sasuke deadpanned. He and Neji had been knocked out by Tsunade and had been tossed inside. Everybody had awakened and they were screaming. "AAAH! WHERE'S THE LIGHTS?"  
"AAAHH! SPIDER!"  
"AAAAHHH! SPIDERWEBS!"  
"AAAAHHH! TOO LOUD!"  
**Outside...**  
"Hoho. I inserted cameras in every corner of every room in that mansion So, there's a lot of TVs!" Tsunade gave her demented laugh again.  
Kurenai smiled, "Let's go to your office to watch then!"  
"I'll make the popcorn!" Asuma volunteered  
"I'll get the sake!" Jiraiya volunteered  
"I won't do anything!" kakashi...uh...volunteered  
**At the Mansion  
**"Great, just great." Shikamaru sighed. "It's troublesome but let's go find rooms where we sleep in, make them comfy and we'll meet here when we're done, kay?"  
"Kay!" Everybody agreed. Kiba zoomed upstairs with Akamaru on his head and explored the whole second floor. He froze as he counted the rooms, then called down to the others below, who were still on the stairs. "How many people are there here!"  
"15..." Gaara muttered.  
"15 huh...?" Kiba gave a nervous smile. "Um...sorry to say this but there's only 5 rooms..."  
"WHAT?"

AOU: I will end the first chapter here. How'd'you like it?

Sasuke: A mansion with only two floors asnd five bedrooms...

AOU: Its' long and wide, not tall, okay!"

Neji:...

AOU: Great, huh? Don't worry, I THINK I have everything worked out...anyway, please review!

Neji: I with she didn't get addicted with Naruto, otherwise, we'd be safe...


	2. Room Trouble

AOU: would ya look at that? 7 reviews for the first chapter and this fic was put up in a C2 community! Which one? KIBA AND FRIENDS! I'm not exactly a Kiba fan, but it's still good!  
**Candy44: REALLY? THATS SO COOL!  
evilangels3: i dont do double spacing much because it wastes space, but i'll try! I'll try NejiTen and an infamous InoShikaTem love triangle but I cant promise anything about NaruHina  
Crazy Random Reader: I'm not doing yaoi, but I'll make Sasuke and Naruto share a room  
Amberfox and Lyell: I might kick Ino out of the InoShikaTem triangle eventually cuz I dont really like Ino.  
FireDragonBL: Wow,a lot of ppl like NejiTen  
**AOU: I absolutely suck at romance and stuff so don't kill me if my Naruto romance sucks. I SUCK AT WRITING ROMANCE FOR SUCH AN INTENSE FIGHTING SHOW LIKE NARUTO!

Chapter 2: KIBA, WHAT DID YOU SAY?  
(In case you haven't noticed, has disallowed stuff like a question mark and an exclamation mark put next to each other. Nor can you put two exclamation/question marks next to each other. That kinda sucks since I use those a lot, so bear with me here)

Let's do a little flashback:  
_"Great, just great." Shikamaru sighed. "It's troublesome but let's go find rooms where we sleep in, make them comfy and we'll meet here when we're done, kay?"  
"Kay!" Everybody agreed. Kiba zoomed upstairs with Akamaru on his head and explored the whole second floor. He froze as he counted the rooms, then called down to the others below, who were still on the stairs. "How many people are there here!"  
"15..." Gaara muttered.  
"15 huh...?" Kiba gave a nervous smile. "Um...sorry to say this but there's only 5 rooms..."  
"WHAT?"_

Snapping out of flashback now, let's go back into the real, non-flashback world where our 'heroes' are, gaping at Kiba. Lee was the first knocked out of his reverie. Leaping up, he raced upstairs, grabbed Kiba by his shoulders and shook him as if he was a lunatic (which he was), shouting at a dead person to wake the hell up. "KIBA! WTF DO YOU MEAN THAT THERE'S ONLY 5 ROOMS?" Lee shook Kiba really really hard and the Inuzuka heir could only go 'huh?'. Lee was about to scream the sentence again when a kunai whipped past their heads.

"Lee! Stop that!" Tenten yelled sternly. She walked up towards them, twirling another kunai in her hand. "You'll hurt him!"

"Hai, Tenten." Lee scowled and backed away. Haha, Lee scowling!

Sasuke leapt up and counted the rooms rapidly. He gave a sigh. "I thought Kiba was being stupid again. There really is 5 rooms."

"So, that means..." Chouji took out 15 chips and sat down on the ground, making 5 'rooms' of dust. He put the chips in each little room and continued until no more chips were left. His eyes widened. "3 people in each room!"

"That took...long enough." snorted Temari, unable to say exactly how long considering she didn't have a watch.

"So..who shares a room with who?" Ino asked. She fluttered her eyes at Sasuke instantly while Sakura did the same. Hinata looked shyly at Naruto, who looked at Sakura, who looked at Sasuke, who looked at nothing.

"We should draw paper out of a hat," Shikamaru nodded, taking a top hat thatappeared magically out of nowhere. He took some paper and a permanent marker, cut up the paper into 15 pieces and put a number on each hat. "We come forwards in teams. First Kakashi's team, then Gai's team, then Asuma's team then Kurenai's team. Got it? Okay."

So, after a while of sorting stuff out, they got the rooms ready! From far left of the corridor to the far right:

Room one is Naruto, Sasuke and Shino. (Shino might as well be a log so...)

Room two is Ino, Shikamaru and Temari.

Room three is Neji, Tenten and Lee (wow)

Room four is Hinata, Chouji and Gaara

Room five is Sakura, Kiba and Kankurou.

So, after that, they went to sort their stuff and talk about their roommates.

(Room One)

"Oh my god, I can't believe I'm sharing a room with YOU, Sasuke-teme." Naruto growled under his breath. Sasuke gave him his best I'm-too-cool-for-you-so-why-are-you-bothering-me look.

"You don't have to whisper, usuratonkachi. Shino might as well be a pear tree or something." And once again, the Uchiha prodigy was right. As proof, he threw a rock at Shino. It bounced off his head but he did not even move, flinch or do anything a normal person would've done. "See?" hissed Sasuke.

"Oh."

(Room Two)

Shikamaru was already in the room, unpacking. He weas also the first one done and then, left the room. Temari and Ino waited until he was completly gone before taking out their stuff. "You know, if you like Shikamaru, you can't take him." Ino said bluntly, taking out a pair of lavender undies and stuffing them into her drawer. Temari stared at her then continued with her work.

"Whyever not?" She asked, placing her fan against the far wall.

"Because..." Ino stuttered, looking for the right excuse. "Because Sakura likes him!"

"And that concerns me because...?" Temari adjusted her forehead protector since it had been falling off slightly.

"Because it just does!" Ino practically screamed.

"Okay, okay..." Temari stared at her roommate. "Jeez..."

(Room Three)

"We are stuck in the same room with the same team." Neji deadpanned looking at the thick-browed Gai-clone and the Weapons Master kunoichi.

"This sucks." Tenten sighed. She took out all her scrolls anyway and stuffed them in a lower drawer.

"At least we're together!" Lee rushed forwards and was about to give them both a giant hug when Neji, activating his Byakugan, rushed forwards as well. Lee grinned. Finally, Neji was going to willingly hug him too! But how wrong he was! Neji gave him a giant Jyuuken in the chest, making him fly out of the room, creating a hole in the wall.

(Room Four)

Gaara didn't have much to unpack. Actually, he didn't have ANYTHING to unpack. So he left. They waited until he was out of earshot before starting the conversation.

"Out of all the people, we had to get him." Chouji muttered, stuffing chips into his mouth.

Hinata nodded in silent agreement.

"I would've liked it if we got Shikamaru but why Gaara of the Sand?"

"I w-would've l-liked it if we got N-Naruto-kun..." Hinata stuttered. Chouji gave her a fish-eye stare.

"Why?"

"B-Because N-N-Naruto-kun is my f-friend!" Hinata exclaimed/stuttered. So, Chouji left it as that, stuffed his belongings UNDER the bed (ew) and left, leaving Hinata to nicely fold her stuff and put it in her drawer.

(Room Five)

Since no one was really close except for the fact that Kankurou saved Kiba from Sakon/Ukon, no one said anything. It was dead silence...

AOU: Okay, I'm done. I couldn't think of anything after that, so I made Room Five silent. So, any idea what to do for the next chapter? Ghosts? Mummies? Ninjutsu flying awry? Your pick! ja ne...


	3. Haunted?

AOU: I haven't updated in a while, huh? Oh well...

Neji: in that space of time, we of the Naruto show have been relaxing and enjoying the freedom we briefly possessed...but now...

Kiba: THE DARK WITCH IS BACK! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

AOU:...what?

Sasuke: nice going, Kiba. Now she knows her nickname

AOU: Dark...Witch...? (eye twitch, then brightens) Hey! Nice name for me!

Kiba: I know. Akamaru and I thought of it. Ne, Akamaru?

Akamaru: Arf!

AOU: Well. I dont own Naruto. You know da drill..FIC START!

Chapter 3

Everybody met at the lobby, bored. "I'm bored." Naruto said, always the one to state the obvious. Tenten suddenly clapped her hands together. "I know! Let's explore this place! it's impossible for it only to have five bedrooms!

(Gai grinned anddid the thumbs-up sign at the TV screen while his teeth went PING. "Ya! Tenten! Whoo!"

Kakashi didn't say anything while Kurenai gave Gai a good kick in the...sensitive area, you may say.)

Everyone stayed close together. Well, no one really stayed near Shino because of his bug problem. But, oh well. They went to the kitchen first and found some ramen on the table. But it was cold! Ah! Everybody hates cold ramen! Naruto especially. "Oy!" He waved his hands at the group (he had charged forwards as soon as he saw the ramen) "Sasuke-teme! I could use some fire here!"

Sasuke muttered something under his breath and performed hand seals. "Katon: Goukakyuu no Jutsu!" But, OH MY GAWD! The Mythical Fireball (is that what it's called?) did not hit the ramen like Sasuke was aiming for! It hit everything! The whole kitchen was on fire! Ah!

"Wtf? Why's the kitchen on fire?" exclaimed Kiba, hugging Akamaru close to him.

"Whoo...get out of the house..." A ghostly voice started to speak from behind Kiba, making him scream like a little girlie. Everybody was jolted briefly out of their fearstate to stare at Kiba. Kiba stared at them and shrugged. "I'm hitting puberty."

"I-I-I think you should l-look behind y-you, K-K-K-Kiba-kun!" Hinata stammered, taking a step back and bumping into Neji, who gave her a death glare. IT WAS A GHOST! BUT NOT ANY GHOST! IT WAS THE GHOST OF...St. Halloween! (insert Psycho theme)

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" Everyone save Gaara screamed.

("AHAHAHHAHAHAHA!" laughed everyone at the TV. "Good job, Kurenai!" giggled Tsunade. "If I hadn't known better I would've thought it was real! Nice Genjutsu." Kurenai looked genuinely confused (i've never seen her confused. only shocked, quiet, sad, unhappy and blank. other emotions too, maybe)

"I never turned on any genjutsu in that house." Kurenai muttered, but loudly enough for everyone to hear.

Everybody stared at her, then at each other. "So, that's a real ghost?" Asuma exclaimed. "Who cares? let's just continue!" Jiraiya muttered.

The Jounins and Hokage stared at each other again before shrugging and returning to watching)

Gaara stepped forwards and held out his arm. Temari and Kankurou stared at him in horror. "No, wait, Gaara! Don't tell me you want to 'get that feeling' before the Final Sleep!" exclaimed Temari, grabbing her little brother's arm.

"No." Gaara took a step forwards. "Sabaku Kyuu." Sand...arms exploded everywhere and trapped the fire and ghost thingy. "Sabaku Sousou."

CENSOR

UNCENSORED AGAIN

When everybody had calmed down and reopened their eyes, their was cinders everywhere. "That...went well." Ino gave a nervous attempt of a chuckle.

"Whatever." snorted Gaara.

Everybody stared cheering him, giving him pats on the Gourd and the like. "Gaara! Gaara! Gaara! Gaara!" Everybody save Shino, Sasuke, Neji and Lee shouted. Why Lee? Because Gaara is the reason Lee went through all that surgery shit! That's why!

"Was that a real ghost?" Tenten asked after everyone calmed down.

"It wasn't genjutsu." Sasuke growled. "I had my Sharingan on."

Tenten was silent for a few seconds, then, she gave a wide, maniacal grin. "So, THAT'S why Sasuke's Katon totally exploded! That's why there's a ghost! And cobwebs! Everywhere!"

Everyone stared at her. "I think Tenten's finally gone of her rocker jyan." Kankurou commented snidely.

"no!" Tenten exploded. She whipped out two kunai, two senbons and a shuriken, hurling them with precise aim at Kankurou. Had the Suna Puppeteer's reaction not been so fast, he would've been Kankurou-senbon-kunai-shuriken shishkabob now.

Tenten stared at everyone with wide hazel eyes. "I read in a book my mother gave me, that all haunted houses are like this. Ninjutsu going wild, Genjutsu not showing up, Taijutsu...still being Taijutsu, Ghosts everywhere..."

She let that sink in for a minute. Then, surprise showed on the faces on everyone save Shino, Sasuke, and Neji. "WE'RE IN A HAUNTED HOUSE!" Everyone save Gaara, Sasuke, Shino and Neji screamed.

(Kakashi chuckled. "That was pretty slow. I thought Sasuke would've figured it out when he turned on his Sharingan..")

"Didn't you guys know that?" deadpanned Sasuke. "I knew it as soon as I turned on Sharingan."

"Why didn't you tell us and make us go through all that extra trauma!" screeched Lee.

"Because I thought you guys knew." Sasuke shrugged.

("Oh")

AOU: Well? How'd'ya like that? I tried making everyone's requests as equal as possible in this. I think this is gonna be a bit darker than just wild slapstick weirdom in an old house. It's a-gonna be a haunted-house-slapstick-weirdom! But it's still gonna be kinda dark. I'm gonna start writing in darker notes soon, because I'm turning more and more to the black side. I dunno why.

Neji: Because the Devil is punishing you for doing this to us

AOU: In case you haven't noticed, I'm kinda Satanist/Atheist mix. So if I accidentaly type something in here that offends you, gomen!

Sasuke: you work on humor fics while typing dark fics. Nice

AOU: But it's gonna be hard for me...so, if you're planning on reading any of my darker fics, be forewarned! There will be moments of cheer and humor because all the fics and chapters I write reflect my mood. So, review well or you're gonna get a pretty down chapter and fic! Ja ne!


	4. CHOUJI!

AOU: i'm updating this story twice in one day! yay! Btw, Shinobi Specialties is on hiatus, mainly because I'm busy with this fic. I'll hurry along with that when I put this one on hiatus, which, hopefully, won't happen.  
**lunarangel: when i first saw Kiba, I was like 'who's the kid with da dog? hmm, whatever' and didn't like him much until Link and Luigi made me see Kiba's other side! i wasn't joking when i wrote Kiba hit puberty.He's SUPPOSED to at this age. well, it's hard to make Neji and Sasuke and the others scream for their mommies considering they don't have any and Neji's my favorite character but I'll try my best!  
**Uh...sorry if some others reviewed but I'm not thinking straight right now. Sorry!

Neji: I will not scream for my mommy.

Sasuke: My 'mommy' is dead

AOU: that's why. anyway, I suppose I should stop rambling and just start the fricking fic, huh?

FIC START

Everybody was huddled in Room 1, shivering madly. (In Room 1: Sasuke, Naruto and Shino) "T-Tenten-chan, are you s-s-sure it's a h-haunted house?" stuttered Hinata, poking her fingers together.

Tenten rubbed her chin, then nodded. "I'm positive, Hinata-chan. Don't worry, though. I don't think much will happen." The Weapons Master kunoichi hopped to her feet, twirling a kunai wildly above her head. "Do you guys just THINK we're a-gonna sit here? No! We're a-gonna go and a-get that ghost!"

Everyone was silent and staring at her, then started murmuring amongst themselves. Tenten felt a vein pop in her head and threw a kunai into the crowd. Gaara whirled around swiftly and raised his hand, sand leaking out of the Gourd and wrapping around a specific someone so she couldn't escape. Yes! Sakura died. Yay.

Everyone stared at Sakura's dead body, ignored it for a few seconds then cheered. "Tenten! You're our hero! You have saved us and brought us back to youth!" Lee jumped up and gave Tenten his biggest bear hug yet. Tenten started to turn purple before she jabbed Lee in the chest with her shuriken, choking out. "Lee! I'm dying here!"

"Sorry." Lee released her and patted her back happily, causing Tenten to cough out a bit of blood. Do I care? No. Why? Tenten's the most minor character. Why? SHE JUST IS, DAMMIT!

"So, what do you want to do to stay occupied?" Ino asked, shifting closer to Shikamaru. Temari death-glared at her, reached over with her fan and bonked Ino hard on her head. Shikamaru didn't notice any of this. Instead, he moved up to where Chouji was (this isn't yaoi though!). Temari and Ino thought he had noticed their bitch fight and hissed at each other, 'that was your fault!'

Ino, furious, took out a bottle of coke, chugged it in one go and placed it on the ground. "Spin the bottle!"

Everyone save Shino shrugged and nodded. "Say, if when I spin the bottle and it points at Shikamaru, I'll get to kiss him." Shikamaru put on a face of disgust while Temari gave a mini-scream of frustration. Ino looked absolutely triumphant with her idea and Temari looked as if she was gonna claw Ino's face off with her bare hands and wind. People around the Sand wind-controller backed away.

"Sure, whatever." Sasuke shrugged. Thankfully, Sakura's dead and Ino's off his back. He wouldn't have anyone going all, 'whoo! sasuke-kuun!' on him anymore. Yayz. Is he happy? Yes, he is. Why? HE JUST IS, DAMMIT!

They all did rock-paper-scissors and OMFG, Gaara's going first! Ack! Gaara didn't move from his spot, which was actually the furthest from the bottle. He reached out with a hand and the sand around him did the same, reaching forwards. It grabbed the bottle and swung it with so much force, the friction made sparks pop up from the ground! Yikes!

It landed on...oh...oh...oh! IT LANDED ON HINATA!

Kiba stared, wide-eyed. _No! _screamed Inner Kiba. _My Hinata is gonna get kissed by Panda-Eyes! No! _Outer Kiba scowled and looked away, covering Akamaru's eyes with one hand and covering his own with his other.

Gaara sighed and created a Suna bunshin. It went forwards and pecked Hinata lightly before it fell apart, drenching Hinata with sand. Kiba looked and breathed a sigh of relief. "Hinata, are you okay?" He asked, crawling over to her.

"Um...anno..." Hinata sighed and looked to Naruto, who wasn't paying any attention to him at all. _I wish Naruto was asking me this right now. _She thought. Outside, she replied, "I-I'm fine, K-Kiba-kun!" The Inuzuka heir breathed a sigh of relief and sat back down again, patting Akamaru happily.

"SPIN THE BOTTLE! Hinata's turn!" Ino practically screamed. Hinata spun the bottle, hoping it would land on Naruto. Lo and behold! It landed on him! But the wind picked up and since the window was open, the bottle swung sideways to...

AH!

INO!

(This isn't Yuri)

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" screamed everyone, shocked at this.

("Hey, we're gonna get some hot stuff!" laughed Jiraiya. Tsunade whacked him hard on the head with her hand, knocking him out. "Pervert."

"Why didn't you invite me to your little get-together, Tsunade?" a wheezy voice sounded behind them.

Everyone whirled around. "Orochimaru-sama, you really shouldn't do that." a know-it-all voice stated softly.

"OROCHIMARU AND KABUTO!")

The ghost appeared just as Hinata started crawling extremely hesitantly towards the Yamanaka. "WHOO! GET OUT OF THE HOUSE AND..." The ghost froze. "What the hell are you doing? Playing Spin the Bottle? WHOO! That's doubly bad! You shall pay!" And he reached out and dragged Chouji off! Ah! No!

AOU: A cliffy! This is getting a little twisty!

Neji: Joy

AOU: Wtf is Orochimaru and Kabuto doing? How's Tsunade gonna handle this situation? Where did the ghost take Chouji? R&R and you'll find out!


	5. St Halloween's ghost and Orochimaru

AOU: Ow...my arms hurt...I was playing soccer with my friends during Chinese school today when I accidentaly sprained it. How? The hoops are really low so you can just jump and hurl it in. Well, that's what I did and I hit my hand really hard against the metal. So it's not exactly sprained. My left arm had a needle thrown into it by accident. How? I don't want to talk about it!

Neji: that's just too bad

AOU: now...time to answer reviews! I'monly gonna answer a few...so! here goes...  
**Yamimizu-chan: Yay! I'm glad you enjoy my fic! I was drawing names out of a hat to see who would get dragged off and Chouji was the lucky one! I hate Sakura, totally. She's so annoying. It was probably her fault Sasuke decided to leave Konoha a bit faster with her whining.  
lunarangel: It's okay! I mean, I'll really try. I'm serious, i'll try! (pats Sasuke's head) this little guy is probably already over his mommy dying and as for Neji...I'll get a few laughs after I give him an embarassing moment or two! (laughs evilly)  
Amberfox and Lyell: WHY did I kill off Sakura? Cause she's annoying and not playing a big part in my fic. Don't worry, I'll sort everything out just fine...**

AOU: now that that's out of the way, let's start the next chapter!

FIC START

"Chouji!" Everybody was racing after the ghost carrying off their fatass friend. The ghost drifted upwards and went through the ceiling. "Ow!" screeched Chouji as his head scraped the ceiling hard. The ghost drifted down, unlatched a trapdoor, THEN went through the ceiling, shoving Chouji through the trap door too. He locked the trap door afterwards and Sasuke yelled at Kiba. "Kiba! You idiot! Use your nose!"

"Oh, uh...right!" Kiba sniffed the air furiously. "This way, y'all!" He waved at the other people and they all raced off, following him. Soon, they found himself back in the kitchen with Kiba sitting on the floor with a proud expression on his face and Akamaru seated beside him, panting and wagging his tail furiously.

"There!" Kiba exclaimed, pointing to a steak on the counter. Sasuke and Neji approached it, prodding it with their kunai. After two seconds, they both punched Kiba hard on the nose. "Kiba! You idiot!" screamed Ino, waving her hands frantically. She nudged Shikamaru hard in his gut and Shikamaru agreed emotionless, "Yeah, Kiba, you idiot."

Kiba scowled and crossed his arms like a little kid. "Well, how was I supposed to know? They both smell the same...almost."

Ino was about to just go up to Kiba and strangle the living hell outta the guy when Temari screamed at everyone, "What the hell are you guys doing? We hafta find the fatass!"

So everybody split up and searched.

(Later...)

"I FOUND CHOUJI!" screamed Lee as soon as everybody met at the lobby a bit afterwards. "Really?" squealed Ino. Lee scowled. If the Gaara/Tenten combo hadn't killed Sakura, he would've wanted Sakura to say that and be impressed instead. _Sorry, Gai-sensei! I couldn't do it! _He sighed heavily.

("Lee! Don't give up!" screeched Gai, leaping up onto the controls to stare at Lee and wave his arms around the TV screen.

"Gai, calm down!" Kurenai cried, her red-brown-whatever-color eyes wide with worry as a blueish light erupted from the controls. But it was too late! Gai was zapped! Agh!

"I hope you guys didn't forget about us..." Kabuto sweatdropped. Everybody turned around and Tsunade rubbed the back of her back apologetically.

"Haha, sorry! I mean, what the hell are you two doing here?" She bellowed, pointing a finger accusingly at the gay (Orochimaru: hey!) snake-dude and his dumbass (Kabuto: i'm smarter than you are) companion.

Orochimaru sweatdropped. "We want to watch Sasuke-kun..."

Kakashi exchanged a look with the Godaime and Tsunade shrugged, "Well, I suppose that's okay. You can join." Rubbing his hands together evilly, Orochimaru seated himself between Jiraiya and Tsunade while Kabuto leaned against the wall beside Asuma.)

(With Chouji...)

Chouji opened his eyes when he smelt chips and ramen and stuff. He gave a cry of joy and looked at the ghost, with wide eyes.

The ghost was actually the ghost of...ST. HALLOWEEN!

(I got this idea after we constantly sang the St. Halloween song at school. If you don't know what St. Halloween looks like, just imagine anyone you want)

"I'm hungry." Complained St. Halloween. He handed Chouji a fishburger and Chouji dug in. While they had their feast, they chatted about random things that just happened to pop into their head at that time.

(With the others)

"We hafta hurry!" Ino urged the team as they raced to the attic. "The ghost might be eating Chouji's brains about now."

"If he has any." Gaara muttered sarcastically. He wasn't running. He was just sitting on a platform of sand that was flying for him. Oh, Gaara, you lazy bum!

They arrived at the attic where Chouji and St. Halloween were now talking about Chouji's useless friends. "And that Tenten! She has the least important part in the series and she keeps going on about how important she is!"

"I know what you mean!" squealed St. Halloween so enthusiastically he spat out half the cheeseburger he was munching on. "St. Patrick thinks he's so important just because he's green, it makes me want to barf!" Chouji nodded.

"That's just mean!" screeched Tenten. She threw a shuriken, two senbons and five kunais rapidly. The senbon pinned Chouji to the wall but the rest were thrown just to scare him a bit. "That wasn't my problem! Sorry, Tenten!" screeched Chouji, waving his arms wildly around his head.

Tenten was about to hurl a kunai when suddenly, a mummy appeared! Agh!

("Is that mummy some kind of jutsu you have?" Kurenai asked Orochimaru, turning to the gay sennin.

"No." Orochimaru shrugged. He turned to the TV screen and yelled, waving a foam finger with Sasuke's head on it and a miniature flag with the Uchiha fan on it. "Go, Sasuke-kun! Show that mummy who's boss!"

"Oh no you don't!" Gai grabbeda Lee foam finger and a flag with the words 'hardwork' on it in Chinese. "GO, LEEEEEEEEE!"

"No!" Kurenai snatched up a Hinata foam finger and a Hyuuga flag, "Hinata! Hinata! Hinata!"

"Shikamaru! Shikamaru! Shikamaru!" Asuma bellowed, waving a Shikamaru foam finger and a chess flag.

Kakashi held up a Sasuke foam finger. "Sasuke has two people voting for him. He wins."

Jiraiya held up a Naruto foam finger. "Nope."

Tsunade held up a Sakura foam finger. "All the future Sannins.")

AOU: Ah! Who will beat the mummies! Will the jounins ever agree on who's the best? What is St. Halloween gonna do with the mummies? Stay tuned!


	6. Curry?

AOU: Ah! It's the mummy! What to do?

Neji: Um...kill it?

AOU: that's obvious! Anyway, what will the...Trapped-in-House team do? Ah!

Sasuke: We're not THAT worried about it

AOU: ...

Temari: We're just a bit

AOU: I noticed the Sand Sibs aren't doing much so I'm gonna make them do as much as possible in this chapter!

**Teal Colored Eyes: Oh, dear. I forgot Sakura's dead and I made Tsunade cheer for her! Now Tsunade's a fool! Oh well. I'll change later.**

**Moonlightpath: I got the foam finger idea after reading 'Those Hands of Hakke' and well, here we go! I think I went a little overboard but oh well, at least you guys enjoyed it.**

**lunarangel: I asked Kiba whether or not Chouji smelt like steak and he always said 'yes'. Why? He eats ten gallons of meat a day! They load them into giant milk container things and his dad gives it to him! He never shares with anyone during anything and that's why he's so fat! LOL. well, then, I don't have much to say now so enjoy da chapter!**

**Note: A lot of stuff in this chapter were inspired by things from random fanfics. If you recognize them, don't go, 'hey! you stole an idea!' and sue me. I do not own those ideas and those ideas belong to their respective...makers.**

FIC START

Everybody was screaming their lungs out...except Shino. The mummy kept going closer to them. "Well, since you guys are about to meet inevitable doom, I suppose I'll drop off now. Tata!" St. Halloween then popped away like the little coward he is. Everybody stared at the spot where he was before and, except for Shino since he wasn't screaming in the first place, resumed screaming.

("Don't worry, Sasuke-kun! I'll protect you!" Kabuto suddenly jumped up and raced towards the TV screen with a kunai drawn. Remember in the last chapter I said Kabuto was stupid? I rest my case. Not only was the kunai deflected by a Chakra sheild Tsunade put up in a hurry, but Kabuto was thrown backwards and knocked out. He is also likely to remain knocked out until I feel he has suffered enough after hurting Kiba, and betraying everybody that he ever really talked to. Evil Kabuto!)

Suddenly, the mummy stopped and started laughing insanely. "That laugh sounds familiar jyan." remarked Kankurou suddenly. Everybody turned to Naruto and the blonde ninja put his hands up innocently. "Not me!"

"It's me!" Everybody turned and saw...(fanfare please!) MITARASHI ANKO! Remember? The really hyperactive kunoichi who was the examiner for the Second Chuunin Exam thingy.

"Uh...why did you scare us?" Neji muttered, shoving his hands into his pockets and pouting a bit.

"Tsunade-hime-sama bribed me 10 dollars and 130 plates of dango for this." Anko chuckled like Kureno. "Well, then! I'd best be off!" And with a poof, she was gone. Everybody just stared at where she was before.

"Why did that happen?" Ino complained. "Why did Anko just appear and all that stupid randomness happened?"

Shikamaru, being smart, knew the answer. "Because the Author-ess of the story wanted to make it a bit longer so she added it in for fun." He shrugged. "It's simple really.If you do the math correctly and judge her personality traits, then add what her hopes are for this story and the people she admire on it's simple to tell she's simply writing odd quirks of randomness here and there to add to the number of words in each story." He looked at what he just said and what the Author-ess just wasted so much muscle and time on. "See what I mean?"

"How do you know so much?" snapped Ino. "Explain so we can understand!"

"Meh, that's too troublesome." mumbled Shikamaru

("Ino reminds me of Sakura. So, when all this is over, I'll take her as my apprentice. She's the best kunoichi in the Rookie 9 after all, right?" Tsunade chuckled like Kureno, then turned to Shizune, who just happened to be there. "Shizune! Remind me after this week is over."

Shizune rolled her eyes, took out her palm pilot and typed in random things while her little pig, Tonton, just 'bueyed' loudly before being shushed by everybody because they wanted to see what would happen next.)

"Um..do you want to go play...a game?" Gaara suggested, trying to cook up conversation for the first time in his life.

"Okay!" Everybody looked at each other. "Naw, we're hungry." Lee said, acting as the unbiased and kind spokesperson.

"Fine." growled Gaara, making a mental note never to try and be friendly ever again. Shukaku took note of that, wrote it down in his palm pilot, and there you go. Gaara will never forget that ever again, as long as Shukaku doesn't accidentaly break the palm pilot during a tussle against Gama Bunta or Katsuyu or Manda or whoever.

So, in the kitchen, everybody picked random people to cook. The people who cook are: Tenten, Naruto and Ino.

"What should we cook?" Ino asked, flipping through a cookbook she just HAPPENED to have brought with her.

"Ramen!" yelled the ramen-obsessed Naruto, leaping about a foot in the air and punching the air with his hand.

"No way." Tenten shook her head. "What about pasta?"

"There's only rice in here." Ino sighed. "Trust me, I looked."

"Curry!" Naruto suggested. The two girls looked at each other, shrugged and nodded okay.

AOU: Next chapter is only chaos in the kitchen! Yay! It's no cliffy! You guys just use your imagination! By the way, when Hokage's Scrolls gets up, can you guys read it and send me some feedback? Well, try and like it! Don't judge a book by its cover and thats what a lot of people are doing to my other fics (I wanna finish my letter, The Second Date and Hokage's Scrolls)

Neji: Because you just naturally suck, I guess

AOU: In case you guys haven't noticed yet, I'm not the most optimistic person in the world. I'm already known as the kid who's pessimistic and is kinda famous around Chalmers for that.

Sasuke: You're still pretty popular in the humor section

AOU: yeah, it's weird. I'm so pessimistic it's like I'm a Kikyou reincarnate or something, and I can write really good humor fics. Dark fics is just not my forte...Anyway, review please! Ja!


	7. Kiba, Kiba, Kiba

AOU: Since you guys are so nice, I'm gonna make this chapter a bit longer! And I'm gonna update Shinokasushin no Jutsu a bit later on! Yay!

Neji: (waves small flag) yay...

AOU: speaking of which, this chapter will be...NO MONSTER!

Sasuke: yay..

AOU: Yes! Only pure randomness that I have summoned from the depths of my mind! And..it's pretty well-planned, i guess. Not just weird randomness like Gaara running around or Kankurou stripping...ew...bad mental image...

Sasuke: you're sick

AOU: No...thats just mean...anyway!

**nejithecagedbird: have i mentioned i like your fics? i never review, gomen, because whenever i read your fics it just happen to be on a bad computer and when i get on the good computer, i forget to review! So, just saying it here, I love your fics. Rock on, Neji!**

**lunarangel: Kabuto's just mean...knocking out Kiba like that. I didn't know who to put to suggest the game and Gaara was the lucky person that popped into my brain! I keep having these mental shutdowns these days..weird...**

**Teal Coloured Eyes: Usually, when I get to around chapter 4 or so, I lose the steam and I just end up deleting the story. So, I'm really happy this one went up for so long! Anyway, it might be a chapter 30 or so, in honor of Stranded with Idiots by RedLotusNin and IceHunterNin**

**Maruku-Kenshin: Sure! I'll read your fics when I have da time. I'll try and make a review too, if I have the time...**

**Touyas Mate Kita: I know this girl in my school whos a bitch and I just hate her guts. Luckily, that has nothing to do with my fanfic so my rage doesn't stop me from writing these chapters!**

FIC START

It was pretty wild in the kitchens as Tenten chopped up the carrots, Ino chopped the beef and Naruto took out the pans and heated the stove thingy. Actually, it wasn't wild at all. Except for the part when Tenten accidently dropped a carrot and cut herself, Ino's hand slipped and she slipped as well, falling face-first into the beef, and Naruto tripping on...a rock and having a pan-shaped bruise on his face.

"Ino, are you done with the beef?" Naruto asked, filling the pot with hot water. Note: I have no idea how the heck you make curry becuase I'm only in elementary. Heck, the only thing I can cook is instant noodles! So, forgive me if I get the order or whatever wrong. I'm just going on how I see my mom and dad make curry, which was about 2 years ago.

"Coming!" Ino hurried over with the beef and plopped it into the water, some spilling onto Naruto's face. "here's the sauce and carrots and this radish crap thing I found in the drawers!" Tenten cried, hurrying over with said supplies, dumping them into the boiling water and splashing more on Naruto's face. This time it was worse because there was sauce on it too. That's just plain sad.

"YOU RUINED THE SHIRT I WORE NONSTOP EXCEPT ONCE FOR A FUNERAL! I NEVER CHANGED THE T-SHIRT UNDERNEATH EVER SINCE I WAS JUST A FURLING!" cried Naruto, trying to make the two feel sorry for him. Which is a big lie, because we've all seen Naruto in that radical white t-shirt. Well, it's not radical. But it's better than some of the clothes I have in my drawers. (Sasuke: COUGHretarded pink t-shirtCOUGH)

"Uh...great. Okay, here, Ino, you stir. I'll chop a bit of celery or whatever in." Tenten said, summoning a kunai while handing Ino a spoon she found. Ino did just that and Tenten chopped celery and onions in, while adding dashes of pepper and salt here and there. Naruto just became idle and pretty much faded into the picture as Tenten and Ino hurried here and there. Temari came in a bit later to help because she was bored with just sitting there listening Gaara talking murdering eye-brow-man (a.k.a. Lee), Kankurou playing House with his mini-Karasu and mini-Kuroari, and just cleaning her fan.

_A bit later..._

Everybody assembled in the dining room that Sasuke and Kiba fell upon by coincidence. Bored, Hinata and Chouji set the table and Neji just sat there, at the table, waiting impatiently as if he was a host and just called all his guests to dinner 4 hours ago, but no one moving.

"Itadakimasu." Said everybody as they dug in after Tenten and Ino just served up dinner.

("I'm hungry." complained Kakashi, watching them eat. Everybody had just let Kabuto lay there since no one really gave a damn on what happened to that guy. Poor Kabuto. Ah, who cares...

"I want to train my new student." Pouted Tsunade, putting her hands on her hips, then looking at a watch she had brought. "A day's almost over, you guys."

"I'm hungry." Kakashi complained again. "I wanna look underneath the underneath but that's useless if I'm hungry."

"...Whatever." muttered, Asuma, willing Shikamaru to do something Chuunin-y since Shikamaru's a Chuunin and all! yay!)

Everybody commented on the curry. Bad comments, good comments, no comments etc.

"I NEVER KNEW YOU COULD COOK, TENTEN!" Gasped, er, screamed Lee, pointing a finger at his teammate.

"This is..okay." Shrugged Neji, knowing he can never be really free to eat good things since he was a CAGED BIRD!

"I'm hungry, so I'm not sure if it's really good or not." Shrugged Sasuke, swallowing another mouthful.

"I never knew I rocked at cooking!" laughed Naruto insanely, sounding remarkably like Anko.

"I rock," Tenten and Ino laughed at the same time.

"Shikamaru, do you like it?" Temari asked in a very weird way. Er, foxy, I guess that's the word.

Shikamaru scooted his chair further from the wind-user. "Uh...yeah. It's troublesome to grab a spoon so I'll just...do this!" Shikamaru bent down and began swallowing rice and curry and what have you like a doggy.

Temari and Ino just stared at him weird.

"This is good, huh, Akamaru?" Laughed Kiba loudly, spooning a mouthful into his mouth and using the same spoon to transfer it into Akamaru, saying, "Here's the train, and it wants to go down the tunnel..." Akamaru opened his mouth and Kiba popped the spoon in, receiving looks of disgust from his fellow shinobi. "Good boy, Akamaru!" squealed Kiba all hyper-like.

"..." Shino said, not even eating.

"Do you know how to eat?" Kankurou asked.

"..." Shino glared at him. T: You should talk, forfeiter!

"Man, are you like, deaf or something?"

"..." T: Geez, why are you talking to me, you fool!

"Okay, then." Kankurou went back to eating.

"..." T: I wish I poisoned his food somehow...

After a while, it became silent again because nobody had anything to say anymore. Kiba, finishing first, decided to lighten the mood a bit. After saying rather loudly, 'Gotsusosama!', he jumped onto his chair and began singing. This song is my own and you cannot use this for your own purposes! You have been warned.

'_I wanna rock because I'm Kiba!_

_And I have a doggy named Akamaru!_

_I know this doesn't rhyme cause I'm just Kiba, but hey!_

_All the girls will swoon and shout as soon as they see Kiba!_

_I just hate it when they do that cause I'll hafta do CPR!_

_I'm gonna be a rockstar named Kiba! Woohoo!_

_ROCK ON!'_

This got everybody in the mood and after muttering 'Gotsusosama' loudly, they all jumped on their chairs and started singing.

("AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" laughed Jiraiya, pointing at Kurenai. "That student of yours is funny."

Kurenai scowled because so far, she didn't do and say much, nor was she able to make fun of anybody)

'_Ma name is Rock Lee! And I'm just a pretty maiden!_

_I just love me eyebrows thick and I'm just glad me ma didn't call me Raden!_

_Man, I rock!_

_So does me sock!_

_I can rhyme!_

_DOUBLE TIME!'_

But Lee never got to do double time because at that moment, Manda decided to suddenly pop out of nowhere along with Katsuyu and take a stroll through the kitchens. Aw, man!

AOU: stopping the fic right here

Neji: yay

AOU: And working on Shinokasushin no Jutsu!

Sasuke: no...

AOU: YAY! Review!


	8. What the?

AOU: i have decided NOT to answer reviews now...

Neji: It's finally become too troublesome, huh?

AOU: Yeppers!

Sasuke: whoopee...

AOU: I love Teen Titans again! WHOOPEE!

Neji: For once, I'm happy.

Sasuke: This means she'll get off our backs

AOU: I'm starting to not watch Naruto because shonen-anime isn't up! It's suspended! OH NO!

Sasuke: yay...

FIC START

"MANDA?" screeched Ino, who, for some reason, knew the giant snake's name.

"KATSUYU?" screeched Temari, who, for some reason, knew the giant slug's name.

The two summons stared at everyone. "Well, this is awkward..." said Katsuyu in the voice that doesn't fit her.

"No, duh." Manda said in the voice that everyone knows means 'i wanna eat you!'

("Oh, dear." sighed Tsunade. "They must've been using the 'bite-me-and-i'll-summon-Katsuyu-and-Manda' forks!" Jiraiya and Orochimaru looked at her with funny and awestruck expressions. Jiraiya spoke first.

"Tsunade, you're still manufacturing those things?" The white-haired sennin cried. "Looks like I'm not the only one of the Sannin who've become a major hit with manufacturing..."

"What have you manufactured?" Orochimaru asked in surprise.

Kakashi and Jiraiya looked at Orochimaru as if he had just said he was straight. "ICHA ICHA PARADISE!" They both screamed, waving the pink books rather obsessively over their heads. Asuma, Kurenai, Tsunade and Orochimaru just stared at them funny.

In case you're wondering, I haven't forgotten about Kabuto. He's still unconscious...)

"This is...surprising..." Gaara said quietly. Naruto, not really getting, decided to just do something cool and get everyone's attention. He bit his thumb and began performing hand seals. "Kuchiyose no Jutsu!"

("Naruto, you idiot! Summoning at this time..." Jiraiya shook his head. "He really isn't like Yondaime...")

There was a poof and Gama Bunta was sitting there. Sasuke growled and, yep! ANGSTY SASUKE! _Damn that Naruto...I wish I knew that technique..._Angsty Sasuke faded away as Kill-Itachi Sasuke came on full-force. _Then, I can summon something cool like a snake or a panther or a giant purple slug or something and kill Itachi...Hahahaha..._

$Sasuke's Dream$

Itachi and Sasuke were standing by that Uchiha cemetary mound thingy and Itachi was standing there, looking all cool with one hand in his jacket and one hand in the sleeve. Sasuke was ranting about kiling his family and crap while Itachi just stood there, all bored.

"I have a new technique, by the way!" Sasuke added, after pausing a bit in the middle of his speech. Itachi looked mildly interested. Perhaps, he could copy it with Sharingan! Ooh hoo, he was evil! Insert maniacal laughter and psycho theme.

"Kuchiyose no Jutsu!' Sasuke yelled, putting his hand on the ground. Since he was all cool and sexy, he didn't need a blood sacrifice!

A panther came running out and before Itachi could react, the panther ate him whole.

"Good boy!" Sasuke squealed, petting the panter. Then, there's this little soft, fluffy insert of Sasuke and the panther running in slow-mo in the middle of a field and running to each other, finally hugging and with this really dramatic music in the background.

(back to reality)

Sasuke began laughing maniacally out loud. Everyone just stared at him as he spouted nonsense like, 'Panther! Itachi! Kill! Flowers! Field!"

Ino and Tenten looked at each other and Temari whispered into Shikamaru's ear, "Do you think revenge has made his brain nuts?"

Shikamaru shrugged. "It's a possibility," He sighed and spouted his trademark quote. "Geez, how troublesome."

"Um...we'll just poof away now..." Katsuyu mumbled nervously. Manda poofed off, giving a 'feh' and Katsuyu followed suit, without the 'feh'.

"GEEZ!" Screamed Ino, hoping Alchemist of Uchiha could hear. Which she could. "STOP ADDING STUPID NONSENSE IN YOUR STORY! YOU'RE PROBABLY JUST TRYING TO MAKE SASUKE SUFFER BECAUSE HE LEFT KONOHA TO JOIN OROCHIMARU! STOP! YOU'RE MAKING EVERYBODY SAD! THINK ABOUT HOW NEJI WOULD FEEL! THINK ABOUT HOW TEMARI WOULD FEEL! THINK ABOUT HOW HAKU WOULD FEEL IF HE WAS HERE!"

"Um, we actually don't know whether or not Haku's a girl or boy. So, you can't really call him a 'he' right now until Masashi Kishimoto-sensei gives us further clues as to Haku's true gender." Tenten pointed out, sweatdropping.

"But Haku died, like, eons ago. So, Kishimoto, like, forgot about him or something." Kiba sighed in a voice that screamed 'duh'.

Naruto and Sasuke glanced at each other after Sasuke had calmed. "How do you guys know Haku?" They asked in unison.

"Alchemist of Uchiha." Was all they got...ooh...a mystery!

("I hope this Alchemist of Uchiha person adds something nice and steamy!" Jiraiya laughed wildly.

An elementary school-girl with shoulder length black hair and glasses popped up and hit Jiraiya hard on the head. Yes, that is what I look like in reality. FEAR ME!

"Wow, I thought you would be blonde." Tsunade remarked airily.

"Or at least be a real alchemist." Gai chuckled like Kureno. I forgot all about Gai! Sorry!

"Gee..." Alchemist of Uchiha sweatdropped, then poofed right out of the picture in an explosion of blue-and-black smoke.

"I'm really not used to people doing that in front of me." Sighed Orochimaru.)

"Wanna...keep singing?" Kankurou suggested. Shino glared.

"..." T: I hope you burn in hell, puppeteer!

"Wha-? Shino, did you just say 'I hope you burn in hell, puppeteer!'?" Kiba asked, turning to the bug-manipulator.

"..." T:..no

"S-S-Shino-kun! I know you're upset b-but.." Hinata eeped and hid behind Lee as Shino turned to glare at her.

"..." T: Don't try to comfort me.

"I know your pain." Sighed Sasuke and Neji. They were mad they weren't made Chuunin too.

So, we'll just save...the CHUUNIN EXAM between NEJI AND SASUKE...

FOR NEXT CHAPTER!

HAHAHA, I'M SO EVIL!

REVIEW!


	9. Nightwolf's Solo Chapter

AOU: oh my god, i just HAVE to answer a few reviews! Actually, I wont...

Neji: busybody

AOU: WHAT? (explosions everywhere)

Sasuke: nice going, Hyuuga

Neji: Shut up, Uchiha

AOU: (calms) As you can see, I have a new penname! Raven because I changed my name and Nightwolf because my friends will be helping me.

Nightwolf: yeah

Raven: So...

Nightwolf: First time! Wooha! I can't believe Raven's lettin me write her chap! Alone! HaHA! BOOYA!

FIC START, MAN!

"Okay, guys! It's a mini-Chuunin exam between Hyuuga Neji and the one, the only, UCHIHA SASUKE!" Tenten got all squealy, then faded when she realized everybody was staring at her funny. "Well, EXCUSE me!" Tenten huffed, crossing her arms and pouting.

"O...kay..." Kiba backed away slowly from the weapons kunoichi, wondering why Ino and Temari weren't all gaga for Sasuke. Yes, Kiba STILL hasn't figured out the two blondes were over him and were gaga over SHIKAMARU now!

"And for added effect, we'll have a battle against me and Ino first!" Temari sneered, opening her fan partway so Ino couldn't see the stars.

"Fine!" Ino performed handseals and got into the Shintenshin no Jutsu style.

AND THE BATTLE COMMENCES, DUDES!

Sasuke was voted spokesperson and he sat boredly on the table. "Okay, Temari VS Ino. Blah Blah Blah. No rules. Temari can kill Ino if she wants to." Ino got pouty.

"AM I NOT ALLOWED TO KILL TEMARI!" she screamed, making everybody dive for cover as Ino Seismic Scream attack ran through the mansion.

"No..Uchiha's just saying that Temari has more chances of winning than you do, Ino." Neji said boredly. Ino glared at everybody.

"Start." Sasuke did that little hand through the air thing Hayate does and the battle commences!

Temari waved her fan and Ino was thrown back through the air. Sasuke walked boredly over and checked her pulse. "She's unconscious," he noted.

"TEMARI WINS!" squealed Nightwolf, throwing her hands in the air. "Yes!"

"Kathleen? Is something going on? Don't ruin my story!" Yelled that idiot Raven, who was downstairs stuffing her face with pockey or whatever.

"NOTHING!" The hyperactive and lovely me returned. Now, where was I...? Oh, yes!

Temari gave a confident laugh as she retracted her fan.

"Ha! Nothing to it!" She walked over to Shikamaru and glomped him.

Do you REALLY think I'm that disgusting? No! Of course not! I'm only 13!

So...in reality...

Temari just gave him a wink that made Shikamaru wallow in self-pity that ressembled Raven's after getting her Hepatitus B shot and picking a bad-tasting lollipop. She told me all about it...i don't mind licorice though. Hmm...whatever.

Sasuke and Neji glared at each other. One could cut the tension in the room with a knife! Gasp. "So, Neji VS Sasuke. BEGIN!"

Shikamaru did the Hayate karate chop thing and the two prodigies sprang at each other.

Neji wasted no time in tricking Sasuke onto his Hakke and decided to impress the stuck-up bastard who's the better Number 1 Rookie. "Hakke" He performed the nice little stance thing that Sasuke pretty much copied in episode 133. Seriously, the person who drew that episode, and episode 30, needs to die or get a life.

Seriously. Well, you don't need to hear the life story of Kathleen Liu (wow, who would've guessed that Raven and I have the same last name and treat each other like sisters...) so let's get on with the fic! I'll just shut up now, in case you want to kill me.

"Hyakunijyuuhachishou!" Neji began that totally mad cool move. I suck at battle scenes. Raven's good at them. But this is my solo chapter so Raven will not help me! GRR!

"ow." Sasuke muttered, trying to stand.

("USE DA CURSE SEAL!" Orochimaru screamed his head off and shook his arms and head all weird-like.

"NEJI!" yelped Gai. "YOU JUST HARMED ONE OF THE YOUTHFUL ROOKIES!" He jumped out of his spandex and revealed..;.

SUPER GAI!

yes! He was wearing a much cleaner green spandex suit plus another green spandex suit as a cape! It's the one, the only, the SUPER GAI!

Super Gai jumped on the chair, did the Boogie, then jumped at the TV. Unfortunately, he got his Chakra timing wrong and ended up having to lie on the floor beside Kabuto, who STILL hasn't woken up.

"That Kabuto person hasn't woken up in the longest time." Asuma commented, pointing to the dumbass.

"Let' s just kill him!" laughed Kurenai. And she did just that. Oh dear. Oh well.)

Just as Sasuke was about to use his Curse Seal lvl 1 because he ran out of Chakra, someone came in!

"AH!" yelled Naruto. "You're...!"

Nightwolf: And I won't tell you who da mystery guest is! mainly because Raven's spazzing at me to let her use the computer and because I'm totally at a blank at who to use.

Raven: JESUS! Just use someone I didn't use.

Nightwolf: That would be...?

Raven: Okay, to the reviewers: TAKE A GUESS!

Nightwolf: Yeah...

Raven: And if we find a character we like to write about, we'll add it! Someone not expected, like Shino's dad or Chouji's long-lost twin or crap like that.

Nightwolf: Wow, you're experienced...by the way, is there any pockey left?

Raven: I know...and...no

Nightwolf: DAMN YOU


	10. The mystery person!

A/N: As I have stated around a few chapters back, I WILL NOT ANSWER REVIEWS! But, here'san answer to saki-kun. Because I'm working on this at school, I can't use that colourful a language, but here goes:

**saki-kun: YOU LIKE SAKURA! OMFG! Seriously, she's a useless little bum and she can't do anything. THAT'S WHY I KILLED HER OFF! I EXPLAINED it at the END of the chapter! But, apparently, you didn't notice, did you? You blind little BAT! You have no right to judge my story just because I killed off one of your favourite characters. It's no loss. Do you actually THINK I will delete this story just because you're not reading it anymore? TOUGH LUCK! Konoha and Sand Shinobi is STAYING!**

Well, now that THAT'S off my back, saki-kun, if you EVER try to review one of my stories again, I'll find where you are and...I'll...well...I dunno...um...geez, this works better if you have physical contact with the guy -.-

FIC START!

"Ah! You're...!" But Naruto never got to finish his sentence because Sasuke leapt forwards and shook his fist ever so angrily.

"ITACHI!"

Yes! Never guessed, would ya? The mystery person is ITACHI! Yes! UCHIHA ITACHI! To you ItaSaku fans, I just think that pairing's weird and Sakura's dead too so ITACHI is gonna be a LONER!

"Hello, little brother." Itachi said. I seriously don't like Itachi by the way. He's cool and all, but I just don't like him that much.SO TOO BAD!

"Oh, so YOU'RE Sasuke's brother!" Neji said, slapping his forehead like those people who forget something and slap their foreheads so hard it's like giving themselves a concussion.

"Uh...duh." Sighed Gaara, rolling his eyes.

"Well, then." Ino shifted nervously, not wanting Sasuke to go all berserky-like, power up an uber-Chidori, charge at Itachi only to have Itachi dodge it and blow this kacheezers-giant hole in the wall. That would not be nice because not only will the maintenance people have to work overtime again, but it would leave a VERY unappealing and un-decorative hole in the wall.

"Little brother, do you have food somewhere? I'm dreadfully hungry," Itachi looked around, rather disoriented.

("Why is Itachi acting like that?" Kakashi asked curiously.

"Well...we couldn't find anyone else to put on the show so...I disoriented him!" Tsunade gave that berserk evil laugh from chapter1. Remember?)

"...Um...I think we have leftover curry..." Kiba said, struggling to remember. Akamaru looked down into his face and barked. Kiba laughed. "Haha, silly me. I forgot! Akamaru ate it all."

Turning to Itachi, Temari shrugged, "Looks like there's no food."

Shikamaru crossed his arms and huffed in that Shikamaru-y way he has. "Feh. How troublesome."

Temari and Ino immediatly looked heart-eyed at Shika while Kankurou and Chouji stared at their female teammate, wondering what the hell's going on. "I always knew blondes were bad." Chouji whispered into Kankurou's ear. (No offence to blondes! I have tons of friends who are blonde! But Ino and Temari only share their blondeness in common so...GOMENASAI!)

"Sigh. Too bad." Itachi took out a Mars Bar and ate it hungrily, ignoring Chouji's drooling. "Hey! Why didn't we get a share?" demanded Tenten, flipping a shuriken out. Suddenly Itachi used Mangekyou Sharingan and knocked out Tenten. I won't kill off Tenten though. Don't worry.

("NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! TENTEN!" Gai yelped. He was back to ordinary Gai. Super Gai was resting his Super Gaipowers.

"Um...woohoo?" Kurenai gave a small whistle as she pumped her fist in the air.

"NOOOOOOOOO! TENTEN!" Gai yelled again. He pulled off his spandex and revealed...

SUPER GAI!

In all his eyebrow glory. Poor Gaara...(Nightwolf: Like I said. Poor baby))

Super Gai suddenly appeared from the ground, causing Kiba to scream like a girl.

"STOP SCREAMING LIKE THAT!" yelled Hinata, managing NOT to stutter.

Silence.

"Tooooooooooooooot." Neji blew on a party horn thingy that just happened to be there. Kiba, meanwhile, looked seriously sad and he looked away, all sad. Akamaru patted his back. Well, the best he could without opposable thumbs.

"I challenge you, Uchiha Itachi, to a duel!" Super Gai exclaimed, performing the nice guy pose. "If you win, I will die. If I win, you remove the spell on Tenten AND die!" Itachi just stared at him.

"Uh...okay...?"

"NOOOOOOOOO!" Sasuke screamed, pounding his fists on his head. "NOOOOOOOOO!"

Everybody stared at him.

"THE ONE TO KILL ITACHI IS ME!"

(Stop)

Raven: I'll stop the chapter there

Nightwolf: who will kill Itachi? Who will prevail?

Raven:...stop doing that

Nightwolf: fine fine...

Raven: REVIEW! It'll be a while between our updates because we've recently gotten obsessed with Teen Titans again and starting to flip through our Detective Conan manga as well as trying to find a good site to get more anime! episode 134 of Naruto is out (thanks, Dattebayo!) so...we'll skedaddle off now to watch it. toodle-loo!


	11. The Second Super

Raven: Good gods, people, STOP DOING THAT! This is the second time I have received a review regarding my character bashing. Okay? This is my policy!

Policy that I had since I started writing fanfics: I will try to make everybody happy, however, any character I see that is un-important in my plot and the TV plot automatically gets bashed.

Raven: That's the way it is and WILL stay. This review is for chapter 1 but I am crazy and mad enough to put it in here:

**Crazy4u: What kind of name is THAT? Anyway, I'm not taking time out of my fanfic-writing schedule to diss your name. You should know if you watch Naruto that Tenten is THE mother of un-important characters, okay? I like her voice, I like the fact she's Chinese, but she's NOT important! Why am I bashing her then? READ MY POLICY. Got it? If you've got a problem with how I deal with idiotic un-important people who lots of people THINK are important, don't read my fic and stop taking up space to tell me 'i hate your fic, screw you'. Okay? I've got ENOUGH problems in my life to bow down to you and say, 'I'm sorry I'm bashing Tenten. Will you forgive me?' I was given CRAP by people a long time ago about my lack of respect for Tenten and look, I MADE her important. You just review the first chapter and say 'this sucks cause you're bashing Tenten', well you know what? Lots of people like it and I like them! Okay? I'm sticking up for this story AND my reviewers! I'm not going to waste space anymore but you get the message: I can create a series of titles regarding my hatred for un-important characters, people who LIKE them, and people who flame and stop reading stories just cause their favourite charrie's being bashed or killed. This is my second flame in my LIFE. saki-kun beat you for number 1 flamer.**

Nightwolf: Wow, she's mad. That's longer than the saki-kun tirade, I think.

Raven: This is a special review answer for nejithecagedbird:

**nejithecagedbird: Wow, I feel special! You're pretty famous on the Naruto humour section! Yay! (big hug) Thanks for sticking up for me against the saki-kun thing. And for staying with this fic! **

Raven: That was short, compared to the one for Crazy4u

Nightwolf: Special cases, Raven. Special cases

Raven: I don't want this story deleted so lets get on with the chapter...

FIC START

"NOOOOOOOOO! THE ONE TO KILL ITACHI IS ME!" Sasuke yelled while pounding his head. Hinata and Chouji, who were beside him, backed away nervously. "Ooookay, my freak-o-meter is going off. Hear that? That's my freak-o-meter." Kiba started making these annoyingly loud and obnoxious 'beepbeepbeep' noises and Sasuke glared at him with his eyes all Sharingan-y.

"Gai-sensei, fight ME!" Turning to Itachi, Sasuke continued his rant. "Itachi, after I kill off Gai, YOU'RE next!"

Itachi looked confused. "Little brother, why the sudden rage? Am I not your caring brother?"

Sasuke deflated. "Wha-?"

Itachi looked down at Tenten with a confused expression on his evil but cool face. "And why is that girl out cold? I only meant to glare at her. Is it because of my un-deniable sexiness?" He turned to the two remaining girls (Hinata and Ino) and asked, "Is it?"

Hinata and Ino stared at him and Ino pointed at Shikamaru, "I have him!"

Shikamaru got this 'man, is this troublesome' expression while Temari practically turned red with rage. She whirled out her fan, shouting out, "Ninpou: Kamaitachi!" Ino reacted quicker than you could imagine, dude! "Ninpou: Shintenshin no Jutsu!" She transferred herself into Naruto's body, which was closest, while her own fell to the ground, the wind shooting past her head. _Thank god I'm not really that tall! _Ino sighed in relief, and disgust that she was in the body of THE Naruto.

"Kai." Forming the Kai seal, she was back in her body before you can say, 'Kagemane no jutsu'

In case your wondering where the hell Shino is, he's still back somewhere in chapter 2 or 3, in Room 1. Yes, he STILL hasn't moved from there. Why? He's doing a head count of his bugs because he's worried some of them might have disappeared during the time he had been drugged. Well, you don't want to hear a story just about Shino doing a head count of his absolutely disgusting kikkai bugs so should we get on? Then again, Gai VS Itachi...Oh well! That is SO the anticipated battle!

And the most anticipated battle of all began.

Well, half-battle.

Gai kept trying to punch Itachi but Itachi, with that super-unnatural speed of his, kept dodging while looking confused and asking Sasuke. "Little brother, why is this eyebrow-man-in-green-and-red-spandex attacking me? Have I dont anything wrong?"

Sasuke sweatdropped as he listed off all of Itachi's horribly evil deeds. "Um, duh. First you kill our clan, turn me pretty much mentally unstable (which by the way, taught me Chidori), show up in Konoha, don't even stop to visit me to ask whether or not I wanted revenge, went after Naruto instead, broke my wrist, pretty much mind-killed me AGAIN, mind-killed my teacher and is currently fighting Naruto and Kakashi and Sakura and some random old woman in the manga version. Need I go on?"

Itachi paused, but ducked as Gai kicked at where his head had been a second ago. "Ah, yes, I remember now. Well, if that's it, I suppose I should just end it here and now."

"Wha-?" Sasuke jumped forwards, trying to stop the Dynamic Entry thing Gai was doing. Sasuke jumped with so much fear that...yes, he flew right over the two and crashlanded on the floor.

Itachi however was currently getting the hell beat out of him and after Gai slapped his hands together and said, 'all done!', Itachi faded in a cloud of pyreflies, like the fiends in Final Fantasy X do after you kill one. Sasuke freaked. "OMFG! Itachi! Where are you? I need to find you so that I can kill you!"

Ino sweatdropped. "He's still your brother, Sasuke-kun. You should at least feel a little compassion he was killed by a man with eyebrows ressembling pieces of furry duct tape stuck to his face." Ino looked to Gai, then back at Sasuke. She was about to say something else when she caught the evil Sharingan look in Sasuke's eyes and decided to stay shut up.

"Gai-sensei, fight me here and now!" Sasuke pointed a finger and Gai.

"It's not GAI-SENSEI, it's SUPER GAI!" Gai gave a wild maniacal laugh and Lee jumped forwards, declaring, "Sasuke-kun, if you want to fight Gai-sensei, you have to fight me too!" And...he ripped off his spandex and revealed an identical Super Gai outfit except he had a blue cape and a big 'L' on his chest.

"I'm SUPER LEE!" Lee yelled, displaying the Superman pose while on the ground.

Everybody sweatdropped.

"Um..." Sasuke stared at Lee in that funny anime style. "You're not really...who I want to fight right now..." Lee gave this really really odd look of triumph as he stuck out a finger and declared once more, well, more like he was yelling and his main objective was to bust out Sasuke's and everyone else's eardrums.

"SASUKE-KUN! YOU'RE ONLY SAYIN' THAT CAUSE YOU'RE TOO CHICKEN TO FIGHT! FIGHT ME OR BE CALLED SASUKE-CHICKEN FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!" Lee laughed maniacally while yelling out for the world of Naruto to hear, "YES! I'M SUPER LEE! MY VOICE IS TEN MILLION TIMES LOUDER THAN NORMAL! MWAHAHAHA! THIS IS A SPECIAL JUTSU KNOWN ONLY TO BIG-EYEBROW-MEN KNOWN AS..." He paused, struggling to remember. "Ah yes! THE MEGAPHONE NO JUTSU!"

"that's not a real jutsu though." Neji pointed out slowly as if giving a 2-year old a lesson in how to pee properly. Lee scowled.

"THEN WHY IS MY VOICE SO LOUD?" He demanded. "IT'S THE MEGAPHONE NO JUTSU!"

Neji twitched. Lee was seriously getting on his nerves. Walking up to stand next to Sasuke, he declared. "Tag team battle. Me and Uchiha versus you and Gai. Winners gets to act like gods in here. Losers have to bow down to our every whim." After a pause, he turned and pointed to the bystanders. "Inform Tenten this when she wakes up: All of you will be considered losers no matter who wins." Loud protests from the not-so-innocent bystanders. "Deal?" The white-eyed kid turned to his teacher and his teacher's mini-me.

"DEAL!" Lee agreed by spitting on his hand and offering it out like they always do in a very sickly fashion in those Redwall books.

Neji looked at the hand. "What am I supposed to do? Spit on it?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

Sasuke, who I forced to read Redwall with me, informed him, "You spit on your hand and shake it, sealing a pact."

"Ew. I'm not doing that." Neji grimaced and Lee frowned. "WHATEVER. LET'S JUST GET DA BATTLE STARTED!" And they charged at each other, Sasuke and Neji with their bloodlines activated and Super Gai and Super Lee with their Super Eyebrow Powers activated and...

(STOP)

Raven: Yesh, I'm stopping da fic there! Mwahaha! Bathe in my evil glory!

Nightwolf: Vote on who you think should win!

Raven: Main reason I'm stopping the fic? Simple. I have a life and I'm using it by reading fanfiction! If you think your story is REALLY good (if the story is SUPER good, then I leave a review, you see) and you want us to review your story, tell me in your review! Or if you find one really good and think I might like, cause I'm reading my eyes out on RobRae (teen titans) fanfiction, here, with the occasional dash of Red X and Raven, along with MalchiorxRaven...so...

Nightwolf: Anyhoo, Shino's Birthday, Shinobi Specialties and other works will be put on hiatus until we get this fic finished...I know, really lame, working on one fic at a time...

Raven: we tend to forget...also, my account, Storm Neko, is back on running with a nice little fic to celebrate our return. So, if you want something more on the action side, go and read 'Can Traitors Love?'.

Nightwolf: Yes, I never knew Raven could write romance. Yes, I better stop because Raven is seriously glaring at me...bye!


	12. Fight for Chuunin glory!

A/N: Okay, a little thing to those who took offence to when I said the sick thing about Redwall: I read Redwall. Isn't that grand? Unless this is your first experience with my fics, you should know I've had two little fanfics about Redwall that I deleted due to lack of interest and proper usage of REVIEWING (glare glare). I'm sorry, dudes. I really like Redwall and all but the whole spitting-on-the-hand thing is sick. I mean, I don't know if it's just me and I had a bad experience somewhere in my life but whenever I read a line about something like that, I feel SICK. As in, 'holy crap, grab a garbage, I'm gonna hurl!' sick. Rakkety Tam was just awesome though, because not only did Brian Jacques actually REALIZE that a good amount of readers were just NOT laughing at his humour, and snapped in with humour that actually made me SMILE a bit (which is pretty easy depending on my mood), it was about SQUIRRELS! Yes, I just love squirrels. Moles are SO hard to understand, I just skip them. As for hares...um...can't say too much without dissing Redwall again!

**Amberfox and Lyell: Naruto cast birthdays? Um...well, I have this manga book about all of them. E-mail me as to which characters, I'll flip through it, and I'll re-e-mail you! Or, you can do the simple way, and just look up Anime Birthdays like I did. I don't know how, but I got some radical sites off that search, like, a year ago or so. 0.o weird**

FIC START

"Katon: Housenka!" Sasuke spat out all those pretty fire thingies, hoping that his Katon wouldn't explode like when he tried using Goukakyuu a few chapters, or minutes, or whatever, back in time. Lee and Gai just dodged them with that inhumane speed I would like to have. I SUCK at gym. Seriously. I get a C in it EVERY TERM. You know how traumatizing that is? That's the same mark I had since grade four and now I'm in grade six! At least I got a B last term but still!

"SUPER MEGAPHONE NO JUTSU!" Lee yelled. He paused, stopping in mid-air. It was pretty comical unless you were Neji or Sasuke. Then it wasn't THAT comical. He paused, thinking of what to say now that he had amped up his already super loud voice by ten million. "SAKURA-SAN, I LOVE YOU!" He yelled.

I do feel sorry for Kiba. I mean, he has super-human hearing and all! And all he could do was yell, 'make it stop! make it stop!' and revel in the glory of being comforted by Hinata.

"Um..what's going on?" Shino had just finished his head count and come downstairs, expecting warm arms and cuddles like, 'Shino! I knew you would be able to beat that forfeiter Kankurou so we decided to rebel against him and the senseis and make you a Chuunin! Just for you! And did your bugs do well? Yes, I hope those ikkle kikkai bugs did well! After that nasty wasty Kankurou killed off so many of your supply!" But nooo! He walked downstairs to see Gai and Lee in twin spandex costumes, Neji about to Jyuuken the living crap out of his teacher and Sasuke about to punch Lee, who was about to punch him.

"Did I miss something?" He asked, looking around in confusion.

"No, Shino. You didn't." Kankurou said sarcastically. "By the way, 'what's going on' are the first things you really said in this fic. How does that make you feel?" Kankurou's voice had a very mean jeering tone in it. Bad Kankurou! Don't you think I'm a bit too harsh on Kankurou lately? I wish it would be Temari and not him who rescued Kiba. Then we could see more of Temari's radical wind-control! I mean, Kankurou gets an entire CHAPTER devoted to him! Two of 'em! Fighting Sakon/Ukon and then Sasori! Poor poor Temari. All she did was summon and warn the Konoha people.

Shino got all mad at that. "Kikkai-jutsu: Yasuri." In case you're wondering, I THINK this is one of Shino's big attacks in Narutimate Hero 2. I mean, it's been long since I last played that game (still waiting for that transfer, Jenny!) and I don't really pay attention to what Shino's saying mainly because I don't like using him much (when he shoots out his bugs, they go too slowly and the honing system barely works! He SUCKS in the game! Chakra can be repaired manually so it's just a waste of my own Chakra and time!)

"Kuroari!" Kuroari jumped out and sucked all the bugs in him. But Karasu didn't go all spider-man and seperate and then jab into Kuroari and make blood come out and Sakon/Ukon/Kikkai bugs scream all scary-like. I just loved Sakon/Ukon! They were cool!

"Hello, people? The real fight's THERE!" Ino informed everybody, pointing to where Neji, Sasuke, Gai and Lee were still fighting dilligently, ignoring the sudden and very expected tiff between Shino and our dear kitty cat Kankurou.

"Dynamic Entry!" Gai yelled, kicking Neji backwards. "Neji!" Tenten yelled in that way she has. Jumping out of the Mangekyou Sharingan stupor, she ran over to him and got all mad. Whipping out a kunai, a senbon, about two hundred shurikens and one of those sickle things Kohaku from Inuyasha uses, she yelled, "Gai-sensei, what are you doing?"

Gai puffed out his chest. "Fret not, dear maiden. I will soon rid the world of that white-eyed menace!"

This got Hinata on edge. Walking over to where Tenten and Neji were, she puffed out HER chest proudly. "We are not white-eyed menaces!" She declared, not stuttering for about the third time. The first and second being somewhere in the Konoha Sports Festival (Thanks to Link and Luigi for the site!)

"Konoha Senpuu!" Lee yelled, tripping Sasuke in that way he tripped Naruto near the beginning of episode 22. Or somewhere around 22. Ah, so long ago. So many bittersweet memories of Sasuke. At least he was STILL IN KONOHA! AND HE DIDN'T GO BERSERK AND TRY TO KILL NARUTO! Grrr...

"Sharingan!" Sasuke copied the move and re-used it on Lee. Yes, mah friends! Even though Sasuke is evil and is currently living with a gay psychopath and his dumbass companion, he still knows the three R rules! Repeat it after me: Re-use, something and Recycle! I think. I dunno, I can't remember! Oh no!

"Konoha Senpuu!" Lee gave that squeak Naruto let out during episode 22 after Lee used Konoha Reppu on him, which was really odd.

Gai, although he sounded reluctant, he said. "Neji and Sasuke will both be able to become Chuunins after we get the freakin hell outta this place!"

Neji and Sasuke began to cheer, however, Kiba noticed something odd. "Gai-sensei, what are you doing here in the first place?"

Ino got really excited, and she began to hop up and down. "Gai-sensei, maybe you can rescue us and get us out of here!" But Gai puffed out his chest.

"No can do, mah friend! Toodle-loo! By the way, Lee, when you get out of this house, you'll have to do 200 laps around Konoha because you lost to SASUKE!" He looked VERY disappointed in Lee although I must say you can't blame eyebrow-man.

"Is it just me, or was that just really fishy?" Temari asked, raising an eyebrow and looking at the others around her.

"Man, that's just troublesome." sighed Shikamaru. Temari frowned. "You know, I'm beginning to get a little annoyed by that." Shikamaru, being Shikamaru, had a 200 IQ as everybody knows. That's the main reason he became Chuunin while Shino, Sasuke and Neji didn't! "I know." He sighed again. Because of his 200 IQ, he had already caught on to Temari and Ino liking him but what was his whole look on the thing? Three guesses. Ooh, times up. Answer is: 'How Troublesome'. At first, it was also, 'Ew, INO?' but then that faded cause it was pretty troublesome.

You know, as I'm typing this, I noticed that my hair is VERY silky now! Amazing! Y'all should seriously try this shampoo: Herbal Essences. It's great! Unless you're a boy or you just don't like Herbal Essences. Then I can't really force you. You know what Herbal Essences should do? Use fanfics and amazing young authors! Like, '_Use Herbal Essences shampoo: It gives great fanfic authors and authoresses great inspiration just when they need it!' _

So, what's my inspiration? Absolutely nothing.

Anyway, back to the story! Kiba sighed as he stroked Akamaru's head. "I'm getting bored. Can we go to sleep?"

Everybody save Shino mumbled an agreement. Akamaru twitched an ear and barked shrilly in indignance. Kiba agreed loudly, "Shino didn't say anything! It's not unanimous unless Shino says something!"

"You can at least say 'aye aye' like they do in Redwall!" complained Chouji.

Everybody looked at him and Gaara commented coldly, "Judging by your IQ, I seriously doubt you can read Redwall."

"I don't." Chouji said, looking confused. "I just look at those mini-pictures at the top of every new chapter!"

Gaara and everybody else sweatdropped, even though the only people to have HEARD of Redwall were Gaara, Temari, Kankurou and Hinata, because Hiashi often made her read it to learn some fine leadership skills for when she became leader of the Hyuuga clan.

"So...let's go to sleep?" Suggested Tenten. Everybody mumbled agreement, including Shino, and they all went to their rooms and were all sound asleep within seconds.

Except Gaara.

Gaara looked at a permanent marker he had brought with him, then at his sleeping roommates. Shukaku was telling him to do it while Gaara said it was just plain mean. After a while, he decided Shukaku WAS cooler and stronger than himself so he did anyway.

You can so tell what Gaara did if you watched Pokemon and saw what Jigglypuff does whenever someone sleeps. By the way, doesn't my grammer just SUCK?

Anyway, you can safely say that if there was a contest for which anime character can act like their polar opposite from another anime, I'd say Gaara'd take the cake with this wondorous, full marks Jigglypuff act. Although it wasn't REALLY an act...

Raven: Mwahahaha! Gaara! You are EVIL!

Nightwolf: Guess what? Raven's family is accepting a homestay! We don't exactly count.

Raven: We have a financial crisis and although my mom's telling me not to tell anyone, you guys don't even know who the hell I am so there's no fault in THAT!

Nightwolf: So we're helping Raven's dad find work otherwise we'll have to move to a smaller house!

Raven: And all the bonds I've spent so much time on to build will be for nothing!

Raven and Nightwolf: SO HELP US, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!


	13. OMG, Gaara

Raven: Wowee, my dad's got an interview at Future Shop. I'm not sure whether I should be celebrating or upset that my dad's working at a place where he might shoplift! Like I would if I worked at Future Shop!

Nightwolf: Great. She's obsessed with Warcraft III again.

Raven: And taking tests on Tickle! Although I never take those weird DATING ones! Cause that's just ludricious considering my crush is at my old school and I only talk to him on MSN! And I'm interested in NO ONE! Right now, anyway

Nightwolf: I'm interested in that cute Korean kid next door.

Raven: Actually, he's Chinese. Lee Rei Zang. His parents must've been anime-obsessed that day. Lol

Nightwolf: ANYWAY. A lot of people liked the Jigglypuff thing. Thank me! Mwahaha! Yes, I watch Pokemon. You got a problem with that?

Raven: I USED to watch Pokemon but then it got ludricious after a while

**nejithecagedbird: Isn't Nejio the sweetest? I wish I was at Anime Boston that day! I would've cosplayed as Neji if I was a boy but since I'm a girl I would've cosplayed as HINATA! Well, considering my gender and hair-length, she's the only person I know I can be unless I want to dye my hair gray, get myself red contacts and say I'm Paine from Final Fantasy X-2!**

FIC START (I should think of some different stuff to put here!)

This chapter will all be about the group's reaction to Gaara's drawings, room by room! Sorry but the TRUE action will be in the next chapter. You know, if all goes well, this may become not a 30 chapter fic but more of a 50 chapter fic! Good lord!

(Room One. A.K.A.: Future Hokage, Avenger and Bug-Boy's domain)

Naruto woke up from a dream of become the first Ramenkage (thanks to Shodaime Ramenkage's name for the idea! (bows to down Shodaime Ramenkage's name)) and looked in a mirror that just happened to be there. He sat there in stupefied silence as he stared at his face. Besides those pesky whiskers Kyuubi gave him, he now sported the word 'baka' drawn across his forehead, Chouji-swirls on his cheeks and a heart with the word 'Lee'. The most shocking was the heart thing. Obviously.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Sasuke leapt out of bed, right beside Naruto and was going to ask what the hell's going on when he saw himself in the mirror. There was the word 'smartass' written on HIS forehead, the word 'Neji' on his nose and the Naruto whiskers on his face. There was also a Sharingan thing in the middle of his eyes Gaara drew for no particular reason.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Sasuke yelled as well.

Shino chose to wake up at that very traumatizing moment and stare at them. After a while, he said, 'ha', which freaked the living hell out of Naruto and Sasuke considering Shino never laughed. Or show emotion. Except when that bum Kankurou chose to forfeit! Grr...

Shino looked at himself in the mirror and turned to the two. "I'm the only one without face-paint." This was, of course, because Shukaku warned Gaara of Shino's VERY scary reputation and the disgusting bug-thing so Gaara chose not to draw on Shino and instead drew on the people Shukaku informed him were NOT as scary and buggy as Shino!

Furious, Sasuke and Naruto ran out of the room, Naruto yelling, "I'm going to kill the person who did this!"

Oh, if only he knew...if only he knew...

(Room Two A.K.A. Room of the Love Triangle)

Shikamaru woke up and looked into Temari's hand mirror, which was on the shelf nearby. "How troublesome..." He sighed. Remember in the first episode ever of Naruto? When he painted on the Hokage's faces? Yep! That's the stuff Gaara did on Shika's face. Poor little Shika. Ah well.

Temari woke up next and stared at him, astounded. Like Shikamaru, her face was covered with Naruto-style stuff. Except hers were a bit different. Ino woke up last, awakened by Shikamaru's 'how troublesome'. She glared at Temari but as soon as Temari caught sight of Ino's face, the wind-manipulator burst out laughing. Unfortunately, Ino was quite a humorous person and she ended up exploding with fits of laughter as well. Meh. Shikamaru stayed all calm and stuff while the two blondes laughed until their face fell apart.

Just kidding. That was just a figure of speech!

Ino and Temari's face didn't crack like that YTV thing. Instead, they laughed so hard they turned from red to blue in rapid succession!

After a while, they calmed down and Ino said in a still high and humorous voice. "I'm going to find who did this and kill him! Or her...But it's definitely a him!"

Temari scowled. "That's not a good idea."

"Was it you?" Ino demanded. Shikamaru shook his head sadly.

"Ino, that's just stupid. For one, none of us brought a sharpie: we know that for a fact. Number two, I locked the door and only I know where I placed the key. Number three, I've seen Temari's drawings before and these drawings are bad to the degree it can't be Temari's."

Temari batted her eyelashes. "So, do you think my drawings are good?" Ino rolled her eyes but she's such a hypocrite because if Shikamaru made that comment about her, she would've done the exact same thing! Except, she would've did that little dog seal sign thingy most girls do at this moment.

"Uh...no. I'm just stating-" But poor Shikamaru never finished his sentence because at that moment Temari threw her arms around him. Ino, furious, jumped onto Temari (not in that way, you sick bastards!) and the two started a bitch fight. IF Temari's fan wasn't leaning against the opposite wall, Temari could've killed Ino there and then with a Kamaitachi no Jutsu and if Ino wasn't so gosh darn TIRED, Ino could've easily possessed Temari's body and that was that.

Shikamaru scratched the back of his head anime-style, sweatdropping. After a while, he just laid on his bed and fell asleep, dreaming of clouds with faces on them and laughing and dancing and singing 'How troublesome!' to the tune of Star Wars. Revenge of the Sith is out! Am I gonna see it? Hell, no!

(Room Three A.K.A. The non-changed room)

Neji and Lee and Tenten were already awake by this time and, since Neji was still cool-headed after a dream of slaying random Main House people for petty reasons such as the lawn not being mowed to perfection, he managed to make a Sharpie-remover face-wash and DEMANDED everybody wash their faces with. Nobody really argued since, you know, nobody would WANT their face covered with wild Indian-style designs. Gaara must've been feeling creative at the time!

"Who did this?" Tenten asked, wiping her face with a dry cloth since the facewash had required a ton of water to work and now her face and a bit of her hair was soaked in soapy water. Which is not pleasant to have on your head if you're not in a shower.

"It must've been someone mentally unstable!" Lee gasped dramatically. Neji turned to him.

"You mean, you?"

Tenten nearly burst a gut trying NOT to laugh at the expression Lee pulled at that simple, but insulting, comment.

"Neji!" Lee jumped to his feet and struck that pose he got from Gai. "I demand you to fight me this instant!"

Neji glared at him, looking insulted. "Do you think that I, a great Hyuuga, would fight you, an insane eyebrow-man?"

"Uh...yea?"

Tenten rolled her eyes. "Okay, you two, let's just go and find who did it..."

"Fine!" Lee jumped out of the room, followed slowly by Neji, who seemed determined to prove Hyuugas were better than people in Lee's non-existant family. Tenten sighed and followed.

(Room Four A.K.A. The room I got from process of elimination!)

Hinata and Chouji were the only two not to get their faces drawn on, mainly because Gaara realized he spent too much time on each 'drawing' and didn't have any more time to draw anything on Chouji's and Hinata's face! So, Gaara's kinda sulky.

(Room Five A.K.A. The room I also got from process of elimination!)

All was silence...Kankurou's face was already painted, Kiba's was too and well, Sakura's dead.

Suddenly, everybody just burst in randomly. "KIBA! KANKUROU!" The two looked up.

Temari glared at her brother. "Kankurou, did you draw on our faces? We all know about your obsession..."

Kankurou shook his head and Ino said, "Kiba couldn't have because he's WAY too wimpy!"

Kiba took offence at that and looked away in a huff.

There was a silence as everybody put it together...

"GAARA!"


	14. Sadistic bugs

Raven: Hurray!

Nightwolf: Er...what?

Raven: Hurray! For Tickle tests!

Nightwolf: Oh. Right.

Raven: Kathleen just doesn't like Tickle tests because she says they pluck at her pride, for some STRANGE reason!

Nightwolf: er, yeah. Read our stories! We have another split-author story up! Amberglass Chronicles! Whoo!

Raven: Yeppers! Now, for the moment you've all been waiting for since the last chapter!

FIC START!

"GAARA!" Exclaimed, well, everybody.

Temari gave a nervous half-laugh. "We must be mistaken. It CAN'T have been GAARA, of all people." But Tenten shook her head.

"It's process of elimination, Temari. Leave with it."

"It could've been Lee, or Neji, or Tenten." Kankurou pointed out, not wanting to face the wrath of his little brother, which is just plain SAD. Lee made a great show of looking innocent, which pretty much signalled he was the bad guy (lol) even though he wasn't. Neji gave everybody a glare that said 'i'm too cool for you guys' and also said 'Why's everybody LOOKING at me?' while Tenten just sat there, all...blank-ish. Like she usually is. No, that's NOT a jab at Tenten, so don't start FLAMING me again!

"It's Gaara, okay?" Spat Sasuke angrily. Kankurou and Temari huddled in a corner, afraid of their little brother's name.

Ino couldn't help but laugh heartily. "You guys are like the people in Harry Potter! They always cringe at the name Voldemort!"

"Oh gee!" Lee, Naruto, Chouji, Kiba, and Hinata all cringed, shuddering. "Don't say his name! Say You-Know-Who!" Wailed Naruto. Everybody who knew Harry Potter was so totally NOT REAL sweat-dropped. "Usuratonkachi." Sasuke muttered under his breath. He quickly noted there were people OTHER than Naruto and usuratonkachi was Naruto's personal little insult. So he added. "And other ahous."

"Should we go confront Gaara?" Kiba asked after regaining his sanity.

"NO!" Kankurou and Temari yelled at the same time. There was a quick discussion from Team 10 (that's team Ino, Shikamaru and Chouji, right?) and Ino came forwards, slapped pieces of duct tape that appeared out of nowhere onto Kankurou's and Temari's faces and walked back cheerfully. Everybody backed away from her.

"Let's go confront Gaara now!" Tenten said cheerfully. Sasuke and Neji both grabbed the remaining Sand Sibs and dragged them away, away, away...Poor them.

(Gaara's Room)

Gaara sat on the ground, drawing pretty swirly patterns on the ground with his new blue marker. He had found it on the ground right after everybody left to confront Kiba and Kankurou. "Oh, Gaaaaaaraaaaaaa." Lee called out in a spooky/retarded voice. "We have a preeeesent for yoooooooooooooouuuuuuuu! Come heeeeeeee-eeerreeeeeee!" There was a very audible _slap _and Lee's voice rang out loud and clear. "OW!"

Tenten's voice added in a loud stage whisper. "Lee! Once was enough!"

Everybody peeked in innocently. Temari and Kankurou had ran away fast, not wanting to taste Gaara's wrath. Gaara glared at them, hiding his marker and pretty swirly patterns quickly with sand. "what?" He made it look as if he was planning to kill someone by making a scimitar out of sand very very quickly.

Using Sabaku Kyuu, he made...arms wrap around Kiba, who screamed very girly again. Everybody stared at him, including Gaara. "Stop doing that!" Ino cried out in exasperation and Kiba yelled back.

"Well, I hit puberty!"

"Kiba, you've already PAST puberty." Shino deadpanned. Yes, Shino is STILL there!

"Well, whatEVER bug-freak!"

(Shino's Mind)

Sadistic bugs ran around the big space of Shino's mind as Kiba's comment rang loud and clear through a loudspeaker.

"Well, whatEVER bug-freak!"

This set them off. Angry kikkai bugs streamed out of the brain and down the nerves and through the hand, and you know the drill...

(Outside the sadistic hell of Shino's mind)

Kikkai bugs flew EVERYWHERE! Kiba gave ANOTHER girly scream and Ino screamed back, "STOP THAT!"

Kiba glared but didn't say anything this time. "Katon: Goukakyuu no Jutsu!" Fire streamed from Sasuke's mouth, burning all the kikkai bugs, which, of course, made Shino's sadistic mind even MORE sadistic-er! Which means MORE kikkai bugs flew out! Oh no!

"Hakke: Hyakunijyuuhachishou!" Neji did that cool thing he did when he first used that move against Kidoumaru's buggies.

"Kage Bunshin!" Naruto's Kage Bunshins couldn't do much other than just slap the first bugs they saw and soon, a slapping bug contest began throughout the clones. Funny how Naruto can make something fun out of something as sadistic as killer bugs.

"Shintenshin no Jutsu!" Ino yelled for no reason. She ended up getting transferred into one of the bugs and couldn't Kai herself out, so all she could do was fly around and wait for her Chakra to be consumed.

"Akamaru!" Kiba tossed a soldier's pill into Akamaru's mouth but missed! Oh no! It ended up hitting Shino and knocking him out because, well, you know.

Everybody looked at Shino's body. Then at Gaara, who was sitting there innocently.

"Funny how we came to confront Gaara and ended up fighting off kikkai bugs." Temari couldn't help but comment.

Gaara glared.

"So! Can we continue with the confrontation?" Tenten asked, retreiving some of her weapons that she had thrown. They were all needles, mind, since she wouldn't want a Fuuma Shuriken sticking out of anyone's heads at that moment. So...

Everybody did the same ending thing they did in the last chapter, except with scolding fingers.

"GAARA!"


	15. The Teachers

A/N: Sorry, guys. But I recently got obsessed with Hunter X Hunter and Tales of Rebirth, along with Tales of Symphonia. Also, I'm busy a lot, with camp and all so it ain't my problem I haven't updated in a long time. Now, this will be on the short side, since it's more of an interluding chapter. I have no plot. Oh well. Continue on...

Chapter 15 (is it?)...

FIC START

(Tsunade sipped a bit of sake as she stated, pointing, with the bottle, at Kakashi and Gai. "You know what? I bet they don't know that there's a back door that I ordered Shizune to keep unlocked."

Gai gave a scream. "Then they can escape from the back!"

Tsunade stared. "No. I only ordered her to keep the back door unlocked. The door that leads away is kept locked with twelve giant brass locks, nineteen seperate chains that are individually enforced with Chakra and also,just to make sure, we bought Fluffy from Harry Potter (which I do not own!). Thankfully, it only cost us a dollar from each sensei introduced formally on the show."

Kurenai was also sipping sake, which she had stolen from Tsunade's Secret Hoard of Sake. "Well, then, we haven't appeared for a lot of chapters, now, huh? I bet next chapter, we won't appear at all and it'll be all about the students finding the back door, and heading out."

The blonde Hokage drained the rest of the bottle and refilled it with a secret jutsu that we won't tell you. "Perhaps."

Kakashi looked mildly ticked off. "Kurenai! You just spoiled it! I bet Raven or Nightwolf will kill you now."

Kurenai merely laughed and suddenly, she began to choke and cough. "The sake is...POISONED!" She managed to yell rather dramatically before falling to a heap on the floor. Tsunade went over and examined the sake.

"Hey! This is from my Tsunade's Secret Hoard of Sake that I didn't tell anyone about! I wonder how she found it."

Asuma checked her pulse and commented randomly. "Kurenai has a heartbeat so she's still alive. Thank God. We don't want any flamers flaming us about how we killed Kurenai off. Although she never really played much of a part in either series..."

"HEY!" Kurenai sat up sharply. "I do so! I teach Kiba, Hinata and Shino!"

"Kiba's only important cause he's on the Super Team. Hinata's only important cause she likes Naruto and Shino...well...he's the only person who likes bugs so I suppose that makes him important too." Kakashi laughed and said randomly. "You MUST look underneath the underneath."

"Dammit, Kakashi!" Growled Gai. "You just stole a hip and totally youthful outlook on the students! No wonder you're my eternal rival!" And he struck the Cool Guy pose. Unfortunately, while the teachers were idle cause we sorta forgot about them, he had seen the Local Dentists and got every single one of his teeth nice and polished, so they glowed like...miniature suns. Also unfortunately, because the Hokage was kinda running low on money (ahem), they bought cheap darkness-running TVs so they were sitting in the dark, with only the TV light to be their light. (And their awesome see-in-the-dark ninja skills too, I suppose)

The TVs (all 25 of them, mind) started to malfunction. "AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! NOOOOOOOOO!" Screamed Tsunade, rushing up and slamming one of the TV screens with her fist. This of course, broke it and that wasn't very good for her sanity.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Screamed just about everyone save Gai, who was still in the pose.

Orochimaru and Kabuto...well...I don't exactly remember if they're still alive. But if they are, they're screaming too.

"EVERYBODY SHUT UP!"

Everybody did and looked up to see...

GASP!

Tayuya, Deidara, Sakon and Sasori! What are THEY doing here?

"What are YOU GUYS DOING HERE?" Yelped Asuma, hiding behind Kakashi because he knew he was a lame-o and Kakashi wasn't.

Tayuya scowled. "Is that how you greet us, you kuso nezumi-tachi?" She growled.

If Jiroubou were there, he would've said, 'Girls shouldn't swear, Tayuya.' But just for the record, and to honour Jiroubou I suppose, Sakon went, "Girls shouldn't swear, Tayuya."

"Up yours, fatass!" And Sakon fell silent after that rather stinging insult. _I'm not fat..._He mumbled in his mind.

Sasori and Deidara remained silent. Then, although this is rather OOC considering I didn't pay attention in the comic version, Deidara went, "Mwahahaha! The world will be ours to command after this week!" Sasori joined in with her maniacal laughter.

_This is gonna be a loooong week..._Was on the minds of all the Jounin senseis.)

((In a place far, far, away))

Iruka sat up in his bed, eyes wide. Mother Hen instincts were kicking in as he yelped. "Naruto! You're in trouble! hold on!" Without another word, he flung off his PJs and...

SUPER IRUKA!

Yes, dressed in his special mail-ordered Jounin Spandex Outfit and special Jounin Silken Red Cape, he was Super Iruka! And he would save the world...er...Naruto...from all sorts of Akane-ing and to bring Justice! (Note: Akane-ing means to Akane. Thanks to Link and Luigi, although I didn't really ask their permission...but thanks to them for making that up! Since bullying doesn't sound to good anyway)

Super Iruka kicked open his window, took a running leap...

And fell face-first into mud.

"CHIKUSHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUU!" Note: chikushou is another form of kuso. Or shit.

Angrily, but still not giving up, Super Iruka picked himself up, did a few jumping jacks and push-ups on the spot and yelled dramatically. "Hold on, Naruto! Super Iruka-sensei is coming to get you!" And, inserting the Superman theme, he began to run at full-speed, 10 miles per hour, towards the mansion, which ironically, was 1200 kilometres away. Do the math please, if you wish to know.

Also, REVIEW! Arigatou gozaimashita ne!


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